What does that phrase actually mean? That things take us by surprise?

Surely you can’t be surprised until after you know something. It’s pretty hard to be surprised by something you don’t even know…

“Oh my god, it was such a shock – everyone jumped out of the darkness and screamed ‘Happy Birthday’. I, of course, have no knowledge they did this (so how am I even talking about it?). In fact, I wasn’t even there – I was in Coles buying myself a tub of ice cream because everyone had forgotten my birthday. Then I just catapulted myself into the sun using a giant slingshot…” (okay, maybe not).

But, obviously, things have happened before I knew of them. Lots of things. Like World War II or The Great Wall of China or The Muppet Show.

Okay, so I’m being facetious. When people say “before you know it” they usually mean something to the effect of:

Life was X and, before I knew it, it was Y…

That is, the change starts to affect you before you get around to acknowledging the change itself.

Sometimes things happen and while you perhaps should be aware that they’re going on, you’re actually not. You have no idea, in fact.

You get blindsided. Like computer viruses, impending tax returns or sudden piles of half-read books on my- I mean one’s desk.

I freely admit I have been blindsided recently (and repeatedly). I personally have only just realised that, in less than two months’ time, I’m leaving the country for five weeks. Aside from 10 days of it, the trip is largely unplanned and, thus far, unresearched.

To add a measure of time-starvation to the countdown, I’m performing every weekend between now and said departure – one performance of which is interstate (please God let it be warm!).

But above all, I have just come to the realisation that, for many and various reasons… I don’t feel prepared to leave.

But hopefully, and before I know it, I’ll be off and it’ll be grand.

Failing that, I’ll be back before I know it.

And in that event, I hope I will eventually realise that I’ve returned.