1. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.  At least, that’s what self-help dudes say.  Does this ‘revelation’ mean we all need to go out and crash-tackle five gazillionaires/movie stars/sports champions/ business tycoons/revolutionaries/geniuses/homemakers/ gurus/despots/Richard Branson/Humphrey B. Bear and demand that they be our BFFs?  Where would that leave them with plebean losers like us (oh alright, I’ll just speak for myself ) dominating their time?  Anyway, I don’t want anyone else’s life, do you?  I think most of us who are a bit discontent just want a smarter, faster, more useful, more valuable version of their own lives, right?  After all, the key to success doesn’t seem to be who I spend my 782 hours per week of  TV-watching or chocolate-eating downtime with.  I’m already really successful at doing these things on my own.  Hey, maybe I’m the average of the five TV protagonists I spend the most time with – Daria Morgandorffer, Liz Lemon, Jeff Winger, Dexter Morgan, *cough*TheRafters*cough* – or the five kinds of chocolate I eat most often (what, just five?).

2. Wrong way, go back.  Okay, so I may have misrepresented The Artist’s Way in my last post.  For starters, the “morning pages” aren’t technically a writing task.  They’re not intended for writers or any form of creativity in particular.  Rather, the idea is to unblock your generic creativity by getting all your mind-rubbish out first thing in the morning.  Occasionally, you might come up with gold, but more likely it’ll be a lot of negative crap.  And if it is indeed three pages of whining about how you can’t get Channel Nine on your digital set-top box, the cute muso boy who only barely knows you exist, or how you can’t decide on your next hair colour (these, of course, wouldn’t be things I would be whinging about), then it’s probably better out than in.  I’m starting to think that, maybe, it’s something I should give a proper go.  And apparently, the more you hate it, the more you need it – like exercise or rehab.

3. They tried to make [someone, someday] go to rehab, but I said… 
I saw a T-shirt this morning that says ‘Nintendo Rehabilitation Clinic’.  Do you reckon we’ll actually need those in the future?  We’ll be all like, “There used to be novelty T-shirts about this.  But now, *sigh*…  This is an intervention.  Take off the Power Glove (yes, they’ll be back – only now they’ll work).  Pack your bags.  There’s a giant warp pipe outside waiting for you…”