…Reasons not to hate Emos

1. They do enough sad for all of us.  Who wants to be sad?  Not me.  But life is light and shade, joy and sorrow.  So if someone has to be whiney and in mourning for all the human race’s unfulfilled potential, why shouldn’t it be some teenager with no bills to pay?

2. They must be boiling.  Poor darlings.  Seriously, it’s, like, 30 degrees today.  Didn’t they do that experiment in high school with the black can full of boiling water versus the one with just the white Diet Coke label on it?  The black can stores more heat and for longer.  Therefore: Black can/Emo attire = good for winter (and, hence: Diet Coke can = good summer attire).  But, as we’ve discussed in point one, it’s for a good cause.  As you were.

3. They could be Batman in training.  He is, after all, The Dark Knight.  Who would be a less obvious crimefighting candidate than one of the gang that loiters on the steps of Town Hall or Flinders St Station?