…New Year’s resolutions*, draft 1.2

1. Opposites world.  Do the opposite of everything you’d normally feel compelled to do.  If your every impulse is wrong, then you could change your life for the better.  Chances are, though, you’ll wind up in jail.  This could be a good route if you’re looking for some downtime.

2. Great pretender.  Get to expert-level in the field of pretence.  Why be yourself when you can be someone more intriguing?  Wear a mask - and not just metaphorically.  Nothing makes heads turn like a phantom outfit or a plague snout.

3. Pants on fire.  Lie with gusto to yourself and others until you’ve completely and spectacularly altered your reality.  After all, the truth might set you free, but lies can get you free stuff.  And free stuff SOLVES EVERYTHING.

*Also doubles up as a do-not-do list