Yes, we know astrology is bollocks, but there’s gotta be something to explain away my crises – that is, other than self-indulgence with a dollop of melodrama. My friendly local astrologer looked at my chart early last year and said my Saturn’s Return would be “relatively pain free”. But lately I’ve been wondering why I’ve been in a bit of a funk.
Then, I read this on a website:
You may feel weak and vulnerable. You want to move ahead, yet are frustrated by a fear of doing so, torn between a compelling urge to throw off everything connected with your past and an equally frantic need to cling to the familiar rather than brave the great unknown.
Even if your external world seems to be in order, your internal structure may feel as though it’s being assaulted with a battering ram. Nervous conditions, irritability, depression, insomnia, and feelings of insecurity are common. Most people go through some sort of identity crisis.
You can add nightmares to that list. Disappointment. Heavy boredom. And an ever-deepening skepticism at a time when you’d be better off taking a leap of faith.
This is why I haven’t been writing. I’ve been living on a mental diet of cheese puffs. I’ve even joined the gym again – not just for physical fitness, but as an attempt to lower my mind-fat percentage.
If this is “relatively pain free”… holy shitballs, Batman.
Maybe it’s a lack of Sun. They say the high depression rate in Scandinavian countries is because of lack of Sun. Ever noticed how EMO’s are getting younger, maybe because little kids in school have to cover up so much just to play in the playground. And also Global Dimming.
For all your medical needs try St John’s Wart.
You’re right – Vitamin D-deficiency, and the resulting SAD, is horrid.
However, I don’t think I can use that as an excuse, considering it’s just after summer here in Sydney. Were it an Edinburgh summer, on the other hand…