…Generation X
1. Undefined. To a value of X, Planet X, X number of things, the X factor - for a long time, possibly since the invention of mathematical expression, X has been the go-to letter for things undefined. This week, an allegedly prominent demographist said Generation X is a valley of nothingness (wedged between the peaks of greedy Baby Boomers and self-absorbed Generation Y-ers). In other news, ‘mono’ means one and ‘rail’ means rail.
2. What is X? As I was born in the Generation X-Y overlap, I feel qualified – read: postmodernly ironic enough - to define the indefinable. Here are some things Generation X have endorsed over the years which I believe go towards defining them: mullet haircuts, giant shoulder-pads, the spiral wave perm, imposing synth soundtracks in action movies, slam dancing, slam dancing to imposing synth soundtracks from action movies, and Wham. Their generation emerged during the tail-ends/aftershocks of the Vietnam War, the sexual revolution, the civil rights movement, and the invention of portable music and Pop Tarts, yet they made no contribution to any of these. Until the naughties, Generation X brought the world nothing but Nutrasweet. And they have the gall to whine about their Baby Boomer parents ruining the world’s peace/economy/environment and spending their inheritance! Poor diddums! Now they’re all grown up, they’ve invented a bunch of iCrap which they’ve marketed diabolically to Generation Y, while maintaining their signature jaw-dropping nerve to bitch and moan about said generation’s dependence on technology. Pack. Of. Whingers. Meanwhile, Generation Y, in case you were wondering, is a network of interconnected pipes or tubes which transfer data from one point to another.
3. Generation S. The Simpsons generation. Arguably, it was a Generation X-er who first brought us this way of life but, you know, if The Simpsons has taught us anything it’s that you can spend 20 years making a grand, sweeping mockery of pretty much any group you want, for fun and profit. Talkin’ ’bout my kinda generation!
