Cyber-silliness

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Bloggers anonymous

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

It was 1999 and I was still using ICQ (wow, there’s a blast from the past).  I’d just started university and I’d only been online for a little over a year.

Every now and then, I’d open up my profile so that random chatters could find me.  It was my new hobby.  It made me feel all superior because most people on it (and, I dare say, people in general) were barely literate. Though occasionally I’d meet someone really clever and fun to chat to from the other side of the world – a friend I’d never have met otherwise.  It was pen-pals in real time.  It was awesome.

One day, a random message appeared on my screen:

“do u cyber im 21 blond haired tan complected football build”

I blinked.  No, I’d read it right. I had even mentally added punctuation where it should’ve been.  And still, all I could picture was someone who was the shape and colour of a football with a blond wig on top.

I could be facetious and say that ”do u cyber” is grammatically on par with “koala pineapple yesterday”, but instead I’ll get to the point of this post: online anonymity.

Ah, the nameless, faceless realm of the internet means you can say and do what you like pretty much without consequence – like propositioning strangers with “cyber” (let’s at least go to dinner at a nice Second-Life restaurant first!).

It’s something I’ve never quite been able to reconcile, personally.  I can’t get over the fact that, regardless of whether my name is on something or not, if I’ve created it it’s mine.  Even adopting a ‘persona’ is not enough - playing a character still involves personal truth (once an actor…).

Besides, I have too many turns of phrase that I’ve custom-made for myself – and it takes way too much brain power to switch them off.  So people will know, people will know!

Still, there are scores of people who, day after day, use the web as their litter box.  Anyone who’s followed (or moderated) comments on a high-traffic website will recognise this.  Once you get over the illiteracy (you have to distance yourself from the evil or it destroys you!), other more sinister truths come to light: If online comments are anything to go by, people in general are really, really bitter.

(and, alright, illiterate! Oh lord, I despair for the future of the written word…)

As a nameless, faceless entity, it seems, people feel at liberty to express contempt, envy and even hatred for their fellow human beings.  It can be frightening.

But there is one aspect of online anonymity that I do really, really miss.  The Daley Rant was, once upon a time, semi-anonymous – my friends knew it was me, but it didn’t have my full name to it.  And that was cool because then I could crack jokes about work (it’s a goldmine sometimes… and already I’ve said too much - just swallow this forget-me-now) and occasionally be a bit more personal (read: whine about boys).

Now I’m renegotiating the territory.  I’m asking myself, at every turn, “Am I happy to have my name on this?”  Or, more importantly, “How much trouble will saying this get me into?”

There’s a lot to be said for the anonymous blog - he’s not so anonymous now, but The Waiter was at liberty to be candid and scathing about his profession in his Rant… without getting sacked.  The uncensored truth is compelling – who doesn’t love a behind-the-scenes stickybeak?

So being a nameless, faceless entity online has its advantages in a literary sense – ie: it can be used for good, not evil.

Then of course there are the folks, like our blond friend on ICQ, who make use of their anonymity in other ways.  Ah well, whatever floats your football…

Revisiting Painful Moments of My Childhood…

Friday, December 28th, 2007

Warning: there are swears… lots of them.

I Blog Therefore I am…?

Thursday, March 15th, 2007

I have a confession to make.

Every now and then – maybe a few times a year – I’ll do a search. On Google.

For me.

They call it a “vanity search”. It exists in the spirit of “let’s see how famous I am” or “let’s see what someone would find if they Googled me”. I’ve always seen it as an entirely ego-driven exercise, often founded in boredom (at work).

Though lately I’ve started to wonder, is it really being vain, or are vanity searches just a small part of keeping up with the way the world perceives us? (which is still an ego-driven exercise, but humour me…).

On the internet, we share our music collections, swap favourite TV shows, present photograph albums of our lives and loved ones, update our event calendars, and even expose our inner-most thoughts in journals.

The core livelihood of many businesses resides online. And anyone involved in any kind of publicity knows how important online presence is – official websites, unofficial fansites, listings, communities, Wikipedia entries, IMDB entries, MySpace entries, blogs, and e-lists.

Any kind of information you could be after is bound to be online, in various degrees of accuracy and depth, and is often more accessible than the printed and broadcast word. Google News will report events far sooner than any magazine, newspaper, or even TV and radio can.

If our communication, recreation, art, business and awareness of so much of the world are all firmly entangled in the web, it’s arguable that if something isn’t online it doesn’t exist.

Descartes said “I think therefore I am”. But is just thinking enough nowadays?

(Oh God. I’m writing like a non-smoking nerd version of Carrie Bradshaw.)

Is a self-affirming thought enough for you to have a place in the world? Or are we required to record these thoughts online in order to really exist somewhere?

If so, why then are so many of us compelled to record what we do, who we know, where we go, how we feel, and what we think about, online for the world to see?

Why are so many of us happy to be posted online in some form, even if we’ve never actually done it ourselves, thanks to the events we’ve been involved in or friends who do blog, vlog, or phlog?

People have long kept diaries and albums or scrapbooks – records of their lives, their legacies, how ever small. But the difference in this era is, we share them. We want to share them. We really, really want to share them. And as widely as possible. Why?

Our world is both bigger and smaller than ever before – bigger in the sense that there’s so much of it that we access and learn about, and smaller because of the ease of this access. So, maybe we just know too many people. We have friends far and wide who we want to share in our lives when it’s not always geographically possible. What better way than online?

The internet is also a place people can turn to for a sense of community when it’s lacking elsewhere in life. Why wouldn’t you want to set up camp somewhere in this place, then? Set up shop? Display your wares? Get on your soapbox? Over-analyse issues nobody else cares about? (sounds familiar!)

So, is an online presence merely self-obsession or is it a way of staking claim to our own existence? In this slightly mad climate we live in, do we have to be at least a little self-obsessed so that we can stake claim to our existence? Is that what it takes now?

(…On a tangent, digital media is highly disposable. So it’s kind of ironic that it’s what we’re recording our lives on. Perhaps, then, that’s one reason why we’re Bloggering and Flickring and MySpacing and Multiplying – putting it on the net is a way of achieving some kind of (relative) permanancy in the digital age. It’s a comforting thought, in a way, to know that although I don’t have tangible photo albums in the cupboard, somewhere on some server, every pic I’ve uploaded is stored, and I can access them anywhere in the world. And even when I delete them, they’re still cached somewhere for future generations to laugh at. Comforting or scary, I don’t know…)

Anyway, based on all this, the vanity search should provide some kind of index to my life, right?

Try it. What do your vanity search results say about you? Are they the markers of who you are and where you’ve been?

Here’s a summary of mine…

  • Lots of impro and theatre stuff
  • A couple of TV news articles I wrote for yourtv.com.au – one of which was about news reader Hugh Rimmington and somehow wound up on a forum under the pun-tastic title “huge rimming tongue”.
  • My blogs and blog networks (if I search under one of my online handles – NERD!)
  • The Lonely Planet Bluelists I created late one night, trying to win a competition
  • Nerdier still – horrendous late-adolescent poetry of mine that’s also swimming around online (won’t be directing you there!)
  • And one very disturbing (yet strangely hilarious) one that actually has nothing to do with me, but deserves an entire blog entry of its own… (ooh, cliffhanger)

But is all this the sign of a life? My life?

I blog, therefore I am?