…I love things that seem impossible

1. One-man band. Once it was travelling minstrels, or a big outing to a concert hall, then it was gramophones, later tapes, then CDs.  Now I can have entire bands by the thousands sitting in my pocket to carry with me wherever I go, making every tedious task interesting and every empty moment full.  I know this is old news but it’s still pretty amazing to me.

2. Time travel. I can fly for 13 hours and arrive an hour earlier on the clock than when I left.  Why aren’t there headlines about that? (thanks Josh from The West Wing)

3. The truth.  I can know everything about everything ever if I choose the 
red pill.  Omniscience is just so convenient nowadays!

…New Year’s resolutions: Draft 1.3

1. Take resolutions seriously. If you’re going to resolve to do something, do it – don’t be a liar/slackarse.

2. Don’t take resolutions seriously. After all, why set out to be a disappointment?

3. Decide early and often whether to take the piss or be sincere so as not to confuse self and others. Yeah, that’s a good one.

…New Year’s resolutions*, draft 1.2

1. Opposites world.  Do the opposite of everything you’d normally feel compelled to do.  If your every impulse is wrong, then you could change your life for the better.  Chances are, though, you’ll wind up in jail.  This could be a good route if you’re looking for some downtime.

2. Great pretender.  Get to expert-level in the field of pretence.  Why be yourself when you can be someone more intriguing?  Wear a mask - and not just metaphorically.  Nothing makes heads turn like a phantom outfit or a plague snout.

3. Pants on fire.  Lie with gusto to yourself and others until you’ve completely and spectacularly altered your reality.  After all, the truth might set you free, but lies can get you free stuff.  And free stuff SOLVES EVERYTHING.

*Also doubles up as a do-not-do list

…New Year’s resolutions, draft 1.1

1. Be brave.

2. Be bold.

3. Believe*.

*Did I just write that?  I should write community service announcements.

…Things about $11.95 shoes

1. If the shoe fits. I needed black, “pointy-toed” shoes for some upcoming gigs, so I did what any practically-minded performer who’s never owned black, “pointy-toed” shoes would do.  I went to the cheapest possible store that sells them.  I found a pair that fit surprisingly comfortably.  Sure, they’re 100% synthetic, but my venues are hardly the Opera House.  So these fit the bill and the feet.  Best of all, at $11.95, they fit the budget too.

2. Archie. Not surprisingly, $11.95 shoes have little in the way of arch support.

3. Exploration. $11.95 shoes may take you to strange places, just so you can sit down.  Like now, even though I have internet in plentiful supply at home, here I am at a net cafe.  Just so I can sit down.