The thing I like about getting older is seeing the patterns in things. There’s a comfort in having experienced ups and downs before and knowing that, while what goes up must come down, what goes down most of the time eventually drifts upward again.
What may be le suck one week can be awesome the next. What can be amazing can fade to blerg.
The exciting and terrifying part is, you never know where the peaks and troughs are – how far up you can climb or how long you’ll ascend for, or how fast or imperceptibly you can fall. It’s not like you have no choice in the matter, but it’s not all in your hands. There are too many variables, which can be hard to swallow if you’re a bit control freakish. Like me.
Many things for me right now are on an upward curve. Work is pleasant and plentiful. Friends warm my heart. My hard slog creatively is getting rewarded. All the sweat and talking to myself and bizarre exercises and wishing and hoping and dreaming has been diverging into yeses. But part of it is, I’m getting better at knowing which jetstreams to jump into and spend time in – and when. It’s as much about quitting as it is persistence.
The entanglement of sine curves in a life adds up to a plate of spaghetti. Sure, it doesn’t make much sense, but it is edible.
