…why heat is superior to cold
1. Life or death. Winter makes me, and others, want to hibernate in crystal form. Thank f**k we have Christmas and New Year’s in summer here - or else, for me, December would be the seasonal equivalent of dysentery.
2. Do good things happen when it’s warm? The following questionaire/interrogation will help you answer this one. (a) Is variety is the SPICE of life or the ice-bath-you-wake-in-after-having-organs-stolen of life? (b) Is it fun dining al fresco when you can see your breath in the air? (c) Could all those jazz standards have it wrong? “We’re havin’ a HEATWAVE” and “You give me FEVER” - OR, “We’re havin’ a BLIZZARD” and ”You give me FROSTBITE”? (if you do get frostbite when you kiss him, frostbite when you hold him tight, you might want to stop making out with the freezer shelf – even if it does look like Robert Pattinson).
3. A searing hot day is filled with the promise of good excuses.
- “It’s too hot to eat. Let’s drink some icy-cold sodas/beer/frozen margaritas instead.”
- “I’d go out and mow the lawn/wash the car/walk to the letter box, but it’s too hot. Let’s drink some…”
- “It’s so hot this laptop is burning my hands. From now on, I will use but a single claw…”
