I don’t know when it disappeared, but it must’ve been a sad day in slang.  It came from the same era as “mad”, which has made a comeback.

But for this word, there’s been no replacement, and no resurgence either. I think this is disastrous.

I’m talking about the word ”rocked”.

And I don’t mean in the ”ohmigod, that concert/dessert platter/episode of Everybody Loves Raymond* rocked!” sense of the word.

When I was between the ages of about 10-13, the word “rocked” meant you’d got something wrong – usually after insisting you were right.  Or that you’d embarrassed yourself terribly (usually by getting something wrong after insisting you were right).  It was also applicable when someone “burned” you, as popular slang would have it now.

For example:

“Michelangelo is the one with the purple bandanna, you retard!  As if you wouldn’t know that!”

Suddenly, look who pops up on a TV screen that’s conveniently nearby…

Rocked!!!

Such an instance was also referred to as a “rock job” – a term which, nowadays, sounds kind of shocking (as does pretty much anything with the word “job” in it - especially, “day job”).

It was so much fun when someone “rocked themselves”. It always meant that, for the next five minutes at least, they wouldn’t live it down.  And that was enough to keep everyone on their toes – and maybe even to fact-check their claims before making them*.  Why do you think I wound up as a sub-editor?! (aside from the fact that I’m a pedantic, obsessive-compulsive language nerd, that is).

But now, when people get something wrong, they’re just politely corrected – “Isn’t Mikey the orange one?”.  It’s a “learning experience” in a very mild, inoffensive, forgettable way – so forgettable you pretty much learn nothing at all.  Resting easy in conversation doesn’t necessarily make for the most exciting conversation.

Sure, you can be “burned” or “snapped” by someone, but it doesn’t quite have the same charm to me – plus, those are Americanisms, while usage of “rocked” - and its popular synonym, “axed” - is decidedly Australian (and possibly only a Sydneyism – let me know what you think on this…).

In uni, a friend wanted to bring back “spak”, which is an ’80s version of “ape$hit”.  The campaign got no further than our circles. Yet, somehow, “mad” has reemerged as our 1990s homegrown equivalent of the British ”wicked”.  Sure, it’s my 15-year-old nephew and friends who use it, but the children are our future.

In the future, I’d like us to call our politicians on their mistakes – not with a cajolling ”Uh, didn’t it turn out there were no weapons…?”, but with a “Ha!  You got to Iraq, there was nothing there - you rocked yourself!” (with accompanying monkeylike chin-rubbing). Keep them on their freaking toes with the prospect of humiliation through slang!

If “mad” can do it, I say surely “rocked” and “axed” can too.  I’m launching a campaign. And it’s starting with my nephew…

(I am unashamedly biased against “sick”, however – illness will never be cool)

*okay, so that’s stretching the bow a bit…