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Three Things Daley #34

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

…Ingredients for vicarious living

1. Keep your options open. If you decide something, that instantly means you have to do something.  And if you have to do something, you don’t get to be a spectator.  So ignore any twinges of inspiration, forget about having a timetable, and stay in those PJs.  Don’t let life get in the way of your doing nothing.

2. Unlimited supply. Line your every surface with stimuli – books, DVDs, music, games – so you don’t have to actually do anything in order to feel everything.  Any kind of adventure or fulfilment you could ever want is right at your fingertips.  Sure, your skin may go translucent from lack of natural light, and your torso may adopt a spherical shape, but those people in that frame/on that page/in that song are doing more than enough attractiveness for you.

3. Cloak of invisibility. If you’re too noticable in real life, you’ll be too busy being you and won’t have time to experience life through fictional characters.  But if you’re invisible – like a ninja or… someone who’s invisible – you’re free to live life to the emptiest.  Free as a dodo or a pterodactyl.

Three Things Daley #9

Friday, December 4th, 2009

…TGIF Dos and Don’ts

1. Don’t wear crappy clothes on Fridays.  Even – nay, especially - when you don’t have plans for that evening.  Because, sure as I need a haircut, you’ll get an offer to go out – and almost certainly to somewhere a little bit fancy.  And when you’re running around that laser-tag maze*, you’ll be all off-target trying to keep your pants up.

2. Do plan more interesting things with your weekend.  For example, visiting places such as this might excite the imagination and feed one’s natural craving for absurdity if one were to, er, conveniently have said natural craving.  However, when all’s said and done, I am more likely to stay quite close to this instead.  On the plus side, I will be clocking up some more hours of this as well, so it’s not my whole life I’m wasting on vicariousness**.

3. Do/Don’t learn what pathetic really means.  My mum told me she is praying to St Jude that I meet the love of my life next year.  In case you didn’t know, St Jude is the patron saint of HOPE FOR THE HOPELESS.  Thanks Mum. 
I wonder who the patron saint of WHOOPARSE is - then I can pray for one of these*…

*Aw yeah, see and be seen, Daley.  I’m all about the really classy sh!t – like a mink tracksuit
**just heaps and heaps and heaps of it

I Like TV

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Watching TV shows is a legitimate hobby. And I don’t mean the kind of mindless channel surfing kind. I mean the deliberate appreciation of drama and comedy series made for TV. It’s as legitimate an art-form as any other, I feel. In fact, I think mainstream TV is doing a much better job using the motion picture medium than most films are.

I watch TV shows but don’t watch actual TV. I’ll gladly watch a whole disc of Futurama in a sitting, but so much as a 30 minute show that’s airing right now will see me skipping off to do something else in the ad-breaks – not to return.

It’s the way of the future – you buy/borrow DVDs, or download files, and watch stuff when you feel like it. Without being advertised at, and without missing out on stuff if you took too long to brush your teeth in the ad break. And just like stamp collecting, playing golf or learning a language, TV viewing a hobby because it’s on your own schedule. You’re in control. You can start and quit anytime you want… right? Right?!

Now that I’ve justified sitting on my arse eating Snakata rice crackers and Lindt Chilli Chocolate, watching hour upon hour of images on screen in lieu of doing something more social (some would call it “having a life”), I’ll tell you the two main shows I’ve been watching.

Dexter

Oh dear lord, this show… It’s “the show that everyone’s talking about”, but for good reason. It’s quite amazing. In case you don’t know, it’s the story of a man who’s a serial killer. But his adopted father, a world-weary cop who has noticed his boy’s violent urges and not-quite-right-ness, taught him to channel his energies into, well, killing ‘bad’ people – and not getting caught.


Morally questionable? Yes. But no more so, I feel, than any TV hero or superhero who goes around killing ‘the bad guys’ – and they do it with far less self-reflection and questioning than Dexter does. Even though he’s a sociopath, he knows it’s questionable territory too.

The dialogue is sharp and deep, the characters complicated and compelling, the twists and turns squeal-worthy, and the performances and direction just beautiful.

But another element that may slip under the radar in many appraisals is the cinematography. Some of the shots are downright strokes of genius. Some are so long and winding you think “How the hell did they shoot it like that?!” Other shots give sinister characters exquisite moments, or turn kind or appealing characters into sinister, almost repulsive ones.

And in all of this, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s disarmingly funny in parts, which makes you suddenly realise you can relate to Dexter – a serial killer, no less. Everyone has felt like an outsider or pretender at some stage. Everyone has, however small, that ‘dark passenger’ inside. Everyone at times wears a mask.

I ploughed through seasons 1 and 2 very quickly. So during season one I was having nightmares – so what? It was worth it for such sublime entertainment.

Arrested Development

I’m a real latecomer to this show, but that makes it no less bloody marvellous. I’m about two-thirds of the way through season 2 now and it’s going from strength to strength. Or, perhaps, from insane to barking f–king crazy.

The Bluth family are the biggest pack of double-crossing, self-serving, amoral @r$e#ole$ you’d ever have the misfortune of meeting. Yet I want to hug them all (except, maybe, Lucille who I’d be afraid might stab me). And for some reason I can’t shake off, I find Gob (Will Arnett, who I knew first as Devon Banks in 30 Rock) really attractive. Michael is the cute and virtuous one, but there’s something about that gung-ho idiot magician… you know, it’s probably his chicken dance.

The show is peppered with brilliant cameos too – Henry Winkler as the astonishingly hopeless lawyer (“The will is in my office, next to the hotplate with the fraying wires”), Liza Minelli as Lucille 2 with incurable vertigo, Julia Louis-Drayfus as the ‘blind’/'pregnant’ lawyer… all solid gold.

The image of Gob being ’skilltestered’ into the air by crane – while wearing a banana suit – may forever make me smile.